This is going to be a different kind of blog tonight. My heart is heavy. There was a shooting in the tiny town I grew up in this week. It was a random act of violence. Three teenagers, (15,16, & 17) were "bored" and decided they wanted to know what it was like to kill someone. So they watched a young man jog past the house they were at and decided he looked like a good person to kill. They shot him and left him there on the side of the road. He had been in our town for 3 days. THREE! He wasn't even a US citizen. He was from Australia and had plans to play baseball at a college in Oklahoma. He had a girlfriend here. It is so sad to me. I'm sad for his family, friends, girlfriend....and my community. But at the same time I'm also scared for my own family.
This world we live in is getting progressively worse. Since the shooting I've seen posts of "I'm sorry" or "I'm praying" aimed to this young man's family and friends. But I've seen a lot of fighting on Facebook between people about what needs to be done to keep kids from doing such stupid things. To keep them from doing such evil things. Everyone says they need a place to go to socialize, they need a place to hang out, something to do in this little town. But from where I stand, I see it so differently. I see that these kids have parents who don't parent. Parents are too busy these days to actually stop and pay attention to what their children are posting to multimedia sites. These parents are out all the time drinking and partying on the weekends, having the time of their lives and doing whatever they want while their kids fend for themselves. I know because I see the pictures on Facebook of them at the local bars.
So, this is my parenting advice. Take it for what it is worth. I only have a two year old. But, I have some great examples to look to when it comes to parenting. Parents, wake up. When you were a teenager, a college kid, and single....NOT A PARENT.....that was the time to go out and "get your swerve on" or party or whatever it is you are currently doing on weekends now. Going out on the weekends and drinking does nothing but set a bad example for your kids. And it also allows them all the free time in the world to do drugs, party, learn how to follow the wrong crowd, and practice unsafe sex. So, stop acting like you are 16. Wake up, be a parent. Act like you are the adult, not the child. Be present. Be aware of your kid's friends. When they want to talk to you, LISTEN. Make them a priority. I'm sorry to be the one to break it to you, but, when you had that child, their needs, wants, accomplishments, dreams.....they all became more important than your own. When they are grown, you can go back to doing what you want. But while you are raising them, be a parent, not a friend. They have enough friends. What they need is someone to give them rules and consequences. There are way too many self absorbed parents out there that want to have these beautiful babies but don't want to raise them. I just don't understand it at all.
I guess maybe I was raised by people who would give up anything for my brother and me. But we had rules, we had consequences and we always knew we were a priority. Our parents never went out to the bar. They didn't have alcohol in the house. They weren't wild and crazy party people. They were down to earth, loving, giving, caring people. They made our house a great place. Kids wanted to be there. We wanted to be there. We never were scared to go home when we did something wrong. We always knew that no matter what our parents would be there. They would listen and talk to us. We may have consequences for our actions, but our parents were always there. They'd always be on our side. And no matter what they always would love us. Too many parents miss that lesson these days. A lot of parents could really stand to take a few lessons from my Mom & Dad.
