Am I?

The last week has been a tough one for me. My hometown was the place of a senseless murder by three teenagers. I have prayed about it, thought about it, been angry about it, and been scared by it. 

All week this week I've wanted to bring my baby to bed with me. I've wanted him as close to me as possible. At night I always go check and make sure he has his covers on him and he isn't laying on top of a toy truck. This week I've found myself lingering. I've either sat and held him or laid down beside him in his toddler bed. I just have felt the need for him to be near me. 

I have read all kinds of reports in the last 7 days about these boys and how misguided they were/are. I've read how the community needs to take a stand for our youth. It has been a bit overwhelming. 

In the last 7 days I have had some serious thoughts about my own parenting. And I just hope and pray that I am doing things right. I mean, how do you know? Am I giving enough discipline? Am I giving enough love and encouragement? Am I bringing him up in a way that he won't follow people but will be a leader? And a good person? I sure hope that Seth and I have this right. I know we will make mistakes along the way. Everyone does. But it's been a week filled with "am I?" And that is a hard question to answer. I hope my son grows up happy and honest. I want him to love God and be loyal, trusting, and fearless. I want him to be a strong and encouraging leader and never be a follower. I hope we do things right. I've been praying for guidance all week. So if you pray, pray for us.